I have to go to the hospital again?!!?!?
Words running through my brain as I lay on the exam table at what I anticipated being another routine appointment. We joked today that we think my doctor is causing Elliott to want to come out because whenever I pay a visit to the doc. I get admitted and start contracting.
So, there was a slight movement in me dilating. I was at a 1 and now its between 1 and 2. Sadly, too much progress. New news is that I have started "thinning" too. Thinning plus dilation means baby is most likely coming a lot sooner than planned. Those things cannot be stopped/slowed/prevented where I am at in my pregnancy. My contractions can be slowed, which they are working on as much as they can. We are sadly getting to the point where we have started exhausting the majority of our options. I was on magnesium sulfate again to stop contractions at a 2. They upped it to 3 and it made me really sleepy, dizzy, groggy and hot. I was miserable. I didn't care though because I am doing everything I can to keep Elliott in. The doctor came in I believe Friday morning and was a little frantic because I had made too much progress. He ordered a Strep B test which isn't normally administered until 35 weeks or after. In case I did deliver I would have been given antibiotics for Strep B regardless of if I have it if Elliott decides to enter the world before tomorrow (Sunday). Doctor Trottier today flat out said he didn't think I was going to walk out of the hospital being pregnant still. Those words are terrifying. I almost had my son yesterday. I honestly don't know how I am doing this right now. We can no longer even take Elliott's growth and development weekly. There is even hesitation on watching him daily. At this point it is literally hour...to hour...Wow.
Never would I have thought I would be where I am at right now with him. I am trying to prep myself as much as possible but I just don't know how. The nurses, my doctor, and Evan have all continually been telling me I am doing everything I can and it is not my fault. They tell me I am doing everything right but how can I not feel like this is my fault. I just want him to stay in so he can be as healthy as possible. I pray I can make it until Tuesday. That is officially 28 weeks. That was our initial goal. I pray that we can at least get there...We have pretty much come to terms that Baby Elliott most likely will be born within the month! The doctor is doubtful that the medicine can hold him off for more than 4 weeks...4 weeks! HOLY COW. I was still suppose to have 13 to go! Ah! Every additional day helps and as long as I can keep him in I am going to do anything and everything I can.
Right now I have been taken off the magnesium and put back on Nifedipine. I initially was on a 10 mg dosage which I continued to contract through so now I have been upped to 20 mg. I am limited to 160 mg a day which I will never reach anyway because my frequency will only be every 6 hours (4 times a day). If worse comes to worse I may be put to every 4 hours but we haven't felt contractions since I was taken off the monitor and that is HUGE!
Elliott's been doing great this whole time. His heartbeat is always between 130-140 and he is always giving these nurses a run for their money when trying to get him to hold on to the monitor. He is so active. I am so thankful he is so strong because I know that when he enters the world he will be such a fighter. He is truly my miracle boy.
Last night, Evan and I were lucky enough to witness (from one room away) the miracle of birth. We started hearing the lady in the room behind me starting screaming bloody murder. I initially was like... is that a kid? Then quickly those bloody murder screams changed motives as I heard, "oh my god, oh my god, oh my god" and the beautiful cries came from her baby boy or girl. I instantly burst into tears. I just witnessed the miracle of life and it was amazing. Then reality set in. My boy almost came today and I know that I wouldn't be able to hear my baby cry for 10 minutes. He would be whisked away and I would be lucky to see him even hours later depending on how he is doing. Broke my heart. Then I cried because of that...Ugh. Being pregnant and already being emotional normally is a horrible mix...
Well, for now everyone we are doing okay again. They have stabilized my contractions on the Nifedipine and I will be able to go home Sunday if all continues well. I will be seeing Dr. Trottier 2 times a week now until Elliott arrives. Day by Day people!!
We are getting a NICU tour today just in case little man arrives soon...which if we don't anticipate making it to 32 weeks...he will be here sooner than later! That is so crazy to think of. Wow.
I'll keep you all posted!
-Rachel
I felt like it was my fault with everything that happened with Hailey, too, but you have to remember that you cannot control it and you have to stay positive. As they were stitching me up after the c-section the Dr tells me I have a "lazy uterus." Great. Thanks for that. None of this is your fault. I know it's easier said and done, but you can't think that way.
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