36 Weeks and 1-2 Days.

This was seriously the most depressing day of this whole pregnancy. I had been having contractions (mild) all day and was told to go walk so what was I doing? Walking. Around 6 o'clock my contractions became consistent at about 3 minutes apart, lasting for about a minute at a time and some painful, some I just felt. Called a little after 7 and was told to come in. At the doctor, I was measuring at a 5. Got on the monitors at the hospital and they were tracking the contractions. I was checked by an OB Fellow and was a 5-6. Let sit for 2 more hours. IV suggested in the case labor starts hard...I take it because I would like an epidural. IV in and fluids to keep my hydrated are started. Contractions slow and then 15 minutes before the doctor was to come and check me again, my contractions came back with a vengence. I have NEVER felt the pain this strong before. I couldn't breathe, I felt tighter everywhere...lower higher and through the sides...Checked again, definitely a 6, baby moved lower...going to continue to watch me. Contractions started spacing but were still intense...just a waiting game.

I was in active labor for 6 hours before it completely stopped.

They cannot do anything to progress or help labor at 36 weeks because the child is still under preterm. I understand, but I have been to the hospital with this kid ready to come 6 times now and its getting to be too much for me to handle going in and then always being sent away. The only thing good that came from this hospital visit was the fact I felt some intense contractions and know what to look for a little better than before. If I hop into active labor again, I must dilate on my own or my water must break for me to have this baby...they will not do anything until 37 weeks. Come 37 weeks, if I go in having consistent contractions they will. It is looking like for sure a baby next week. I have been having contractions again all day, but just haven't even bothered monitoring them out of complete frustration. I know I should be...but it sucks. I was about to have my son...I was progressing...then NOTHING. I am sick of being teased. I simply cannot do this anymore, I cried the whole way home...balled. (Of course, getting only 30 minutes of sleep in the hours of 7pm-9am didn't help) but still.

I know he would be preterm still but I am only 4 days away from 37 weeks. He has gotten SO FAR already and received 2 sets of steroid shots...It's selfish of me to just want him now I know, but I don't care. I cannot handle another night like that again...I think?

-Rachel

(PS: I'd really appreciate if everyone just read the post and accepted it. I know people have gone through similar if not worse...but I just want to share my experience in peace. Thanks)

35/36 Weeks!

Hello Everyone!

We have made it to 36 weeks! MIRACLES DO HAPPEN!!

I apologize for not having a new update for last week. I was in the hospital twice between 34-36 weeks because I started contracting again and luckily was sent home again both times. It was a slightly stressful week and I just couldn't make myself get upstairs to blog...

Today we had our 36 week appointment! I got the Strep B test again (I had already gotten one I believe at the 30/31 week hospital visit when Dr. Trottier was convinced Elliott was coming) and should know the results I think in 2 days? Shoot. Now I can't remember...Oh well. As far as today's appointment goes...it was good! I lost 3 pounds (normally wouldn't be good in pregnancy, but this can symbolize the end) My blood pressure actually was normal for once (after weeks of being low thanks to the Nifedipine). Nifedipine is DONE!!!! HOORAY NO MORE MEDS!!!!! and lastly, I am dilated to a 5. I am both excited and saddened by this. Elliott can come now...he will be okay if he comes(at least he should be) and it is just weird that I am already dilated to a 5 when some women struggle to get to a 2. Dr. Trottier also said that if I start contracting regularly or my water breaks baby is coming! I get to meet my little man oh so soon!!! I feel this sense of relief right now knowing that I am now a "normal" pregnancy (not really, but we can kind of look at it this way) thanks to reaching the 36 week mark. If I make it to 37 I have held out to have a full term baby boy. MIRACULOUS!

Elliott's heart beat is always hanging out in the 130's, and those little hearttones are music to my ears! Today, it was a little funny because I have been having fairly strong contractions all day and started having some right as my appointment started...of course I was having one as Dr. Trottier was checking for the heartbeat and he was struggling to find babies heartbeat because of the contraction! Then after about a minute or so my uterus relaxed and baby was right there... :)

I think I feel ready to be done. I have come so far. Evan and I were talking about this earlier...We initially were in the hospital 11-12 weeks ago almost having our little peanut. I have endured nearly 4 months of bed rest (which I no longer have to remain on...in fact, I was told to "go walk that baby out!". Aside from the fact that Elliott wanted to come early, I have to say this pregnancy has been enjoyable. I never got sick, I rarely got heartburn...and I am feeling the most uncomfortable now being the biggest I've been. Sleep is pretty much non existent because I can't seem to get comfy but that's okay...I can sleep when I am dead! I am just so thankful that we have made it this far.

I have been having much stronger contractions over the weekend and through today...I am monitoring as best as I can. There is a general rule of 5-1-1, that my hospital and doctor like to go by. Contractions are 5 minutes apart or less, last for one minute, and the pattern is consistent for one hour...I am trying to stick by that as best as I can...Now that I have experienced some pretty strong ones, I use those to tell me okay, lets start watching these...I just wonder if my water will actually break or if it will be broken in the hospital and I just have contractions. Only baby will know!

To know that we are not going to stop labor if Elliott decides its time is awesome. I am ready. I am ready to have my little boy in my arms...I am ready to enjoy the fruits of all this hard work that my husband and I have endured the past 4 months. I am ready to gain my normalcy(I know its not going to be back to the normal I once knew...). I am ready for baby to meet his family. I am READY!

I want to thank you all for your kind words of support throughout this journey. It's so nice to hear words of encouragement and I don't believe we could have ever gotten here without them. THANK YOU!

Love to you all,

Rachel and Elliott

-I wanted to have some documentation of my pregnancy including Evan...I forced my mom to take some maternity shots of us outside our house. I think they turned out pretty awesome! :) Enjoy!

34 Weeks

We made it to 34! Unfortunately...well, I don't know if I should say that...Regardless, I was admitted in the hospital last night. I was having strong pains yesterday, tried to forget about them and shrug them off. Took a bath to try to help releive some pain, no dice. Contractions 3-5 minutes apart started around 8:30, was in hospital by 10. Dilated to a 4 now, 100% effaced and +1. +1 means baby has just now passed through the lowest part of my pelvis...he is coming. Soon. I was terrified. I was trying to talk myself out of calling because I just cant have him come now. He NEEDS to stay in. I was SO thankful, after a horrible evening of no sleep, I was sent home. Though now, I have felt a popping sensation and still some pretty sharp pains. Oh, and add some colored stuff down there too (sorry, TMI). It's so hard to determine if my little man is coming or not. I just dont know.

We officially stop Nifedipine at 36 weeks now, if I even make it there. At this rate, Dr. Trottier said if I dilate to a 5 and start contracting, he's not stopping it. I can't blame him I guess, I just want my baby boy healthy.

Last night was scary. I was truly terrified. I cried a lot...I don't know how I am going to do this. How will he come out of me!? Will I manage the pain okay? Will I have much pain? Ugh. This whole "unknown" thing stinks.

Elliott was doing great on the monitors throughout the night. Steady heartrate ranging from 139-143...where he always is. I cannot wait to meet him...I just am so excited to have him in my arms instead of my belly, but so scared to get him too soon.

Maybe another update sooner than later, depending on how this week goes. Something tells me he might be coming. It's really a question of my water breaking...once that goes...baby is HERE.

33 Weeks! Hello September!!

We are a little past 33 weeks everyone! Hooray!!!!!!


I have never been happier to see the month of September. Wow. I am truly amazed that my son has stayed put for almost an additional 10 weeks since our initial hospital visit. I cannot imagine where our lives would be if he would have made his grand appearance already. As much as I selfishly want to say, well we are 33 weeks, we received the steroid shots, lets just stop the meds and let him come...I think to myself, WHY in the world would I still let me son be 7 weeks premature. That is NOT alright...I keep having to take that step back whenever I struggle to get myself out of bed to go to the bathroom, or struggle waddling there...It isn't just about me. My life is him.

We had another ultrasound and appointment on Tuesday! Things are still progressing but at this point I just have to keep doing what I have been doing and keep on. I am still dilated to a 3, potentially a little more, and am now 100% effaced. Sources tell me I can be here for multiple days/weeks, so I am just really not doing anything so I don't break my water or anything! Doctor Trottier is letting it be my decision whether we go off the meds at 34 weeks and I said I would like to stay on them. As sucky as the drugs are, they are going to give my son a better/healthier chance at life and I can deal with the dizziness and swollen puffy legs! My goal is to hit full term, or 37 weeks, if not October which brings us just past at 38 weeks. If I can do that, I can do ANYTHING. Doctor Trottier said, any additional days past 32 weeks are icing on the cake...so load me up cake of life!! He also still stressed that if Elliott was born anytime past 32 he would still be in the NICU no matter how healthy he could come out. He said its almost protocol here in Grand Forks to simply ventilate no matter what to keep the baby out of stress. Why let them get there when we can just give them some extra help. That is what is keeping me motivated to get to October. I want my son to be placed in my arms after he is born...not rushed away from me. I want him with his Mommy and Daddy.

At our ultrasound, Elliott was stubborn as usual. We found out he is looking straight at my spine and our ultrasound tech Jeremy even stated that Elliott was lower than he has been. We haven't been able to get any head measurements or profile shots because he is so far into my pelvis. Other than that, things seem to be looking okay. Measurements, Jeremy said, could be up to 2 weeks off and Elliott's estimated fetal weight at 11 oz. off. That is a pretty big margin. They think he is right around the 4 lb mark...which to many books and websites is smaller, but I take it with a grain of salt. This kid is getting higher in my abdomen and stronger everyday so I know he is growing. He kicked me so hard last night I almost fell down!

My mom was here this past week and it was absolutely delightful. We had a fantastic visit and I wish she didn't have to leave. We were able to hop to the stores and get every NEED for Elliott, as well as a couple wants. Elliott is going to be a fairly fashionable kid, I can't resist these miniature man outfits! We also found his coming home outfit, and have all of his other clothing purchased(bare necessities). The nursery is now completely painted and furniture has been purchased (Thanks Papa Tim!) and built. My son has a room! Evan wants to wait until Grandparents have seen the nursery before any of you folks get to see it (sorry). But I will let you know, its SO stinking adorable. Evan did a FANTASTIC job with painting and took a whole night after a very long day at work to build everything. He is superman. Now all I need is my little man! OH! I almost forgot, it was the sweetest thing. I was in the nursery yesterday putting some clothes up there away from one of our cats and Jack was with me. Jack, for the past 2 weeks has NOT wanted to leave my side...more on that in a second. Anyways, Jack laid right in front of the crib and stayed there until I was ready to leave. He loves his little buddy already and hasn't even officially met him! OH! and here is the rest of what I will tell you-Jack sleeps in his kennel overnight because he likes to get into things/whine at the door at 3 am and doesn't need to go outside. Last night, because he has been SO extremely good and mellow lately, I let him sleep with me in my bed. He laid with me from 1 a.m. until 9 a.m. this morning...his body was touching mine somehow but his preferred place is closest to my belly with his head resting atop. HOW SWEET IS THAT. He is such a good boy and is my little buddy. I hope he does okay with Elliott comes...I know they will be the greatest of pals!

Evan is doing well! He is still freakishly busy, extremely tired when he comes home, but is still trucking along. He is very much looking forward to this 3 day weekend he gets thanks to labor day. It's unfortunate that we will both be missing our first MN State Fair ever, but I have to consider the circumstances :) One step into the fair and my son would fall out, I just know it! Ha Ha! He just would want to experience and love it as much as his Mommy and Daddy do! For all you Minnesotans out there, please eat some cheese curds for me...

Well everyone, onto another week. I have been downgraded to once weekly appointments! Hooray!!! That is a relief. Only makes me a little nervous because now every feeling I have that I am unsure about I have to call. I can't just say, oh my appointment is tomorrow, or a little later, I will just ask then. It's great though!

If all goes as planned, my son SHOULD be here within 48 days. I know it could be more, but at this point I think they would induce me if I went any day past 40 with the history of this pregnancy. 48 days doesn't seem all that far away...and its 32 days until October. Come on October! I love you! It's my wedding anniversary and hopefully the month of my precious baby boy's birth! I'd really appreciate it if you could come as soon as possible.

Love to you all, and I hope these updates continue! Happy FALL!!!

-Rachel

P.S: I never got around to belly pictures...hopefully I can muster up enough strength to make myself look decent and take one...I have REALLY slacked on that sadly, and don't have documentation of many weeks. It's difficult to get out of bed in general, especially for more than just the bathroom.