I have to go to the hospital again?!!?!?
Words running through my brain as I lay on the exam table at what I anticipated being another routine appointment. We joked today that we think my doctor is causing Elliott to want to come out because whenever I pay a visit to the doc. I get admitted and start contracting.
So, there was a slight movement in me dilating. I was at a 1 and now its between 1 and 2. Sadly, too much progress. New news is that I have started "thinning" too. Thinning plus dilation means baby is most likely coming a lot sooner than planned. Those things cannot be stopped/slowed/prevented where I am at in my pregnancy. My contractions can be slowed, which they are working on as much as they can. We are sadly getting to the point where we have started exhausting the majority of our options. I was on magnesium sulfate again to stop contractions at a 2. They upped it to 3 and it made me really sleepy, dizzy, groggy and hot. I was miserable. I didn't care though because I am doing everything I can to keep Elliott in. The doctor came in I believe Friday morning and was a little frantic because I had made too much progress. He ordered a Strep B test which isn't normally administered until 35 weeks or after. In case I did deliver I would have been given antibiotics for Strep B regardless of if I have it if Elliott decides to enter the world before tomorrow (Sunday). Doctor Trottier today flat out said he didn't think I was going to walk out of the hospital being pregnant still. Those words are terrifying. I almost had my son yesterday. I honestly don't know how I am doing this right now. We can no longer even take Elliott's growth and development weekly. There is even hesitation on watching him daily. At this point it is literally hour...to hour...Wow.
Never would I have thought I would be where I am at right now with him. I am trying to prep myself as much as possible but I just don't know how. The nurses, my doctor, and Evan have all continually been telling me I am doing everything I can and it is not my fault. They tell me I am doing everything right but how can I not feel like this is my fault. I just want him to stay in so he can be as healthy as possible. I pray I can make it until Tuesday. That is officially 28 weeks. That was our initial goal. I pray that we can at least get there...We have pretty much come to terms that Baby Elliott most likely will be born within the month! The doctor is doubtful that the medicine can hold him off for more than 4 weeks...4 weeks! HOLY COW. I was still suppose to have 13 to go! Ah! Every additional day helps and as long as I can keep him in I am going to do anything and everything I can.
Right now I have been taken off the magnesium and put back on Nifedipine. I initially was on a 10 mg dosage which I continued to contract through so now I have been upped to 20 mg. I am limited to 160 mg a day which I will never reach anyway because my frequency will only be every 6 hours (4 times a day). If worse comes to worse I may be put to every 4 hours but we haven't felt contractions since I was taken off the monitor and that is HUGE!
Elliott's been doing great this whole time. His heartbeat is always between 130-140 and he is always giving these nurses a run for their money when trying to get him to hold on to the monitor. He is so active. I am so thankful he is so strong because I know that when he enters the world he will be such a fighter. He is truly my miracle boy.
Last night, Evan and I were lucky enough to witness (from one room away) the miracle of birth. We started hearing the lady in the room behind me starting screaming bloody murder. I initially was like... is that a kid? Then quickly those bloody murder screams changed motives as I heard, "oh my god, oh my god, oh my god" and the beautiful cries came from her baby boy or girl. I instantly burst into tears. I just witnessed the miracle of life and it was amazing. Then reality set in. My boy almost came today and I know that I wouldn't be able to hear my baby cry for 10 minutes. He would be whisked away and I would be lucky to see him even hours later depending on how he is doing. Broke my heart. Then I cried because of that...Ugh. Being pregnant and already being emotional normally is a horrible mix...
Well, for now everyone we are doing okay again. They have stabilized my contractions on the Nifedipine and I will be able to go home Sunday if all continues well. I will be seeing Dr. Trottier 2 times a week now until Elliott arrives. Day by Day people!!
We are getting a NICU tour today just in case little man arrives soon...which if we don't anticipate making it to 32 weeks...he will be here sooner than later! That is so crazy to think of. Wow.
I'll keep you all posted!
-Rachel
Saturday, July 23, 2011
Tuesday, July 19, 2011
27 weeks!
Hello Everyone!
Elliott here giving the latest and greatest on everything me!
I am sure I have just tipped the scales at 2 lbs! (I was 1 lb. 13 oz. at my last Fargo ultrasound)
I am approximately 14.5 inches long! That's over one foot! I am growing so big and getting so strong!
I most definitely have sleeping patterns of when I sleep and when I am awake. I usually wake Mommy up around 6 a.m by kicking and punching her and that usually lasts for a couple hours...then I go back to sleep for awhile and wake up around 4 p.m. Then I sleep for awhile and wake up again kicking at around 10/11 p.m.
I am working on blinking ever since my eyelids finally opened...Mommy hasn't noticed me responding to light just yet...She thinks I respond to temperature. Whenever she is in the tub(lukewarm water...not hot), or is cuddled up in a blanket she notices me moving all over. Then the instant she exposes her belly I stop!
My brain and other internal organ systems are pretty much maturing at this point. If I were to be born right now, I would still need a lot of medical help but I far better off then when I scared Mommy and Daddy awhile ago!
Mommy finally felt me hiccuping the other day! I hiccup a lot actually but it has only been strong enough for Mommy and Daddy to see on ultrasound. Mommy enjoyed it...it was like I was playing drums! Some information tells Mommy that I could be hiccuping because it is my way to respond to what she eats! Mommy loves Buffalo chicken wings, and loves spicy food. Even with that, Mommy said she didn't notice any additional movement after she ate that. Want to know what I really like? McDonald's french fries!!!! Daddy went and got Mommy and himself dinner from there last night and I LOVED the french fries. I let Mommy know by dancing all around! I have the most taste buds I will ever have this week in my life. After this week, they start depleting...I hope I get more french fries :)
Mommy is feeling pretty good. She is noticing she is losing her breath a lot more than normal. It is completely normal though because I am just growing up finally and taking some space away from Mommy's lungs. She also is getting a little stiff and sore from being horizontal for the majority of the day. She stretches when she can and finds that bath's help her muscles relax. Her appetite remains the same, and she is trying to focus on drinking as much water as possible. The nurses and doctors told her to keep her fluids up while she was in bed. Mommy is still taking her contraction stopping medicine and feels contractions every once in awhile. They are not painful at all and last maybe 5-7 seconds at a time in very irregular patterns. Not much else going on with Mommy!
Daddy is getting back into the swing of things now too. He has been very busy taking care of Jack and still getting what needs to get done around the house done. Plus, Daddy is back at his schoolwork again! Daddy is meeting with a contractor today to get an estimate on the work we need done on our house. Daddy is pretty excited to meet with him. Even though I ruined the plan of getting things done before I came...it still is progress! Daddy plans on being able to attack the house issues next spring! Daddy is still staying very busy at work and comes home pretty tired some days...he is working so hard for Mommy and Me. I love him so much!
Lastly, I have a day care lady! Her name is Becky and she is REALLY nice. I am excited to be watched by her when Mommy has to return to work. Daddy found Becky through his coworker. His coworkers kids have been with Becky nearly since birth and they really love her! She is very affordable, flexible with time, and is just all around a very nice lady! I will be only 1 of 2 or 1 of 3 kids being watched at a time and Becky's husband Jerry said he was going to spoil me rotten! Jerry was so fun! I can't wait to hang out with him! Mommy and Daddy are very relieved they have finally found someone to watch me in a home setting and can now move forward with figuring out timing for Mommy and Daddy's jobs. The overall goal is to have me home with a parent as much as possible and only in daycare for a limited amount of time. Saturdays are my days with Daddy and Sundays are our whole family day. I cannot wait for Sundays! :)
Mommy and Daddy have only a couple things left to do until my arrival (whenever I decide to come). They are going to purchase my travel system, and my pack n play soon so I can sleep somewhere safe and close to mommy and daddy. My nursery has been put on hold probably until January 2012/after the holidays. Those 2 items are the biggest and most needed for me to be safe when I go home and am at home. Of course they will get bottles and diapers along the way as well as clothes. They are hesitant right now in buying because if I greet the world early I will have to potentially wear micro-preemie or preemie clothing! Daddy might have to go on a little shopping spree once I am born to get the other basic essentials! Mommy has been keeping busy while in bed and did start a registry for me at Target. She adds things every once in awhile and is bummed she wont be able to go into the store and use the special gun. Hey, at least there is technology that allows her to create a registry from home though right!
They also had signed up for all of the prep Baby classes but now that Mommy is on bed rest they most likely will not be able to attend. Mommy called the hospital and explained the situation to them and they are going to mail her all of the material and are going to check further into options such as dvd's and other outlets for Mommy and Daddy to learn about my arrival! Mommy and Daddy want to be as prepared as possible, but know that they might not have the chance but that is what is exciting. They get to learn as they go and do what they feel is best for them!
We have an appointment on Thursday where Mommy has to drink this really sugary orange glucose drink. She is getting tested for Gestational Diabetes! Diabetes does run in her family (Grandpa-Moms Dad) so she is a little nervous. She is also a little nervous because she doesn't know how well too much sugar will do with her body after her surgery. She hopes she passes, but is anticipating failing and having to go back for the 3 hour test...Boo... We will find out Thursday the frequency of our upcoming ultrasounds both cervical and general growth and see if Mommy has dilated further. Lets hope not!!!!!!!
Okay everyone! I will talk to soon!!!
Love you!
-Baby Elliott
Elliott here giving the latest and greatest on everything me!
I am sure I have just tipped the scales at 2 lbs! (I was 1 lb. 13 oz. at my last Fargo ultrasound)
I am approximately 14.5 inches long! That's over one foot! I am growing so big and getting so strong!
I most definitely have sleeping patterns of when I sleep and when I am awake. I usually wake Mommy up around 6 a.m by kicking and punching her and that usually lasts for a couple hours...then I go back to sleep for awhile and wake up around 4 p.m. Then I sleep for awhile and wake up again kicking at around 10/11 p.m.
I am working on blinking ever since my eyelids finally opened...Mommy hasn't noticed me responding to light just yet...She thinks I respond to temperature. Whenever she is in the tub(lukewarm water...not hot), or is cuddled up in a blanket she notices me moving all over. Then the instant she exposes her belly I stop!
My brain and other internal organ systems are pretty much maturing at this point. If I were to be born right now, I would still need a lot of medical help but I far better off then when I scared Mommy and Daddy awhile ago!
Mommy finally felt me hiccuping the other day! I hiccup a lot actually but it has only been strong enough for Mommy and Daddy to see on ultrasound. Mommy enjoyed it...it was like I was playing drums! Some information tells Mommy that I could be hiccuping because it is my way to respond to what she eats! Mommy loves Buffalo chicken wings, and loves spicy food. Even with that, Mommy said she didn't notice any additional movement after she ate that. Want to know what I really like? McDonald's french fries!!!! Daddy went and got Mommy and himself dinner from there last night and I LOVED the french fries. I let Mommy know by dancing all around! I have the most taste buds I will ever have this week in my life. After this week, they start depleting...I hope I get more french fries :)
Mommy is feeling pretty good. She is noticing she is losing her breath a lot more than normal. It is completely normal though because I am just growing up finally and taking some space away from Mommy's lungs. She also is getting a little stiff and sore from being horizontal for the majority of the day. She stretches when she can and finds that bath's help her muscles relax. Her appetite remains the same, and she is trying to focus on drinking as much water as possible. The nurses and doctors told her to keep her fluids up while she was in bed. Mommy is still taking her contraction stopping medicine and feels contractions every once in awhile. They are not painful at all and last maybe 5-7 seconds at a time in very irregular patterns. Not much else going on with Mommy!
Daddy is getting back into the swing of things now too. He has been very busy taking care of Jack and still getting what needs to get done around the house done. Plus, Daddy is back at his schoolwork again! Daddy is meeting with a contractor today to get an estimate on the work we need done on our house. Daddy is pretty excited to meet with him. Even though I ruined the plan of getting things done before I came...it still is progress! Daddy plans on being able to attack the house issues next spring! Daddy is still staying very busy at work and comes home pretty tired some days...he is working so hard for Mommy and Me. I love him so much!
Lastly, I have a day care lady! Her name is Becky and she is REALLY nice. I am excited to be watched by her when Mommy has to return to work. Daddy found Becky through his coworker. His coworkers kids have been with Becky nearly since birth and they really love her! She is very affordable, flexible with time, and is just all around a very nice lady! I will be only 1 of 2 or 1 of 3 kids being watched at a time and Becky's husband Jerry said he was going to spoil me rotten! Jerry was so fun! I can't wait to hang out with him! Mommy and Daddy are very relieved they have finally found someone to watch me in a home setting and can now move forward with figuring out timing for Mommy and Daddy's jobs. The overall goal is to have me home with a parent as much as possible and only in daycare for a limited amount of time. Saturdays are my days with Daddy and Sundays are our whole family day. I cannot wait for Sundays! :)
Mommy and Daddy have only a couple things left to do until my arrival (whenever I decide to come). They are going to purchase my travel system, and my pack n play soon so I can sleep somewhere safe and close to mommy and daddy. My nursery has been put on hold probably until January 2012/after the holidays. Those 2 items are the biggest and most needed for me to be safe when I go home and am at home. Of course they will get bottles and diapers along the way as well as clothes. They are hesitant right now in buying because if I greet the world early I will have to potentially wear micro-preemie or preemie clothing! Daddy might have to go on a little shopping spree once I am born to get the other basic essentials! Mommy has been keeping busy while in bed and did start a registry for me at Target. She adds things every once in awhile and is bummed she wont be able to go into the store and use the special gun. Hey, at least there is technology that allows her to create a registry from home though right!
They also had signed up for all of the prep Baby classes but now that Mommy is on bed rest they most likely will not be able to attend. Mommy called the hospital and explained the situation to them and they are going to mail her all of the material and are going to check further into options such as dvd's and other outlets for Mommy and Daddy to learn about my arrival! Mommy and Daddy want to be as prepared as possible, but know that they might not have the chance but that is what is exciting. They get to learn as they go and do what they feel is best for them!
We have an appointment on Thursday where Mommy has to drink this really sugary orange glucose drink. She is getting tested for Gestational Diabetes! Diabetes does run in her family (Grandpa-Moms Dad) so she is a little nervous. She is also a little nervous because she doesn't know how well too much sugar will do with her body after her surgery. She hopes she passes, but is anticipating failing and having to go back for the 3 hour test...Boo... We will find out Thursday the frequency of our upcoming ultrasounds both cervical and general growth and see if Mommy has dilated further. Lets hope not!!!!!!!
Okay everyone! I will talk to soon!!!
Love you!
-Baby Elliott
Thursday, July 14, 2011
Ultrasound Update
Hey Everyone...
Ultrasound went well. Elliott is growing pretty much right where he should be. His head circumference measured 2 days bigger than where we are at! The only one not meeting standards is his femur bone measurement. Its measuring almost 2 weeks behind. This is another one of those "markers" for Downs. The doctor we saw this appointment stressed to us to not get overwhelmed by it because we will not know 100% unless we do an amniocentesis or see him when he is born. We plan to just see him when he is born. This doctor also saw nothing with the "sandal foot" marker anymore! Hooray! Elliott's echogenic bowel is still seen but it had a lot of variance in shading. Another thing we wont be able to resolve until he is born! He was moving the whole entire ultrasound and was tucked into his normal little position of feet touching the head! What a goofball! Also, Elliott was literally right there, ready to come out. We did another cervical length ultrasound and his head was pushing so hard against my cervix. I didn't want to even move! I was afraid he was going to pop right out! A new discovery from this appointment...they think I might have 2 cervix's now! Yay me. What else can be wrong with me?! They said when the uterus is possibly bicornuate, essentially it almost was as if 2 uteruses fused together...leading to 2 cervix's fusing. He wasn't 100% sure because I am pregnant already and baby is stretching things out but stressed that it is definitely something that we need to follow up on after Elliott is born. Lastly, this doctor told us we most likely will have to have a C-section. I am okay with that I guess...I honestly haven't put much thought into a birth plan because I feel like even if I had one, its most likely going to be thrown out the window. The only thing that makes me sad is I wont be able to hold him the instant he is born...what does make me happy though is that it will be safest for both me and Elliott and Evan will get to hold him first :)
Here are the pictures from today!
Showing off the boy parts again...He is not shy!
This is the only 3D shot we were able to get of his face. He was stubborn and moving way to much to get a clear shot. Though, look closely and what is up by his forehead....his foot!
Another profile shot.
His little feet!
His little toesies!
This is one of the only clear shots we got today! His little crossed leggies and feet! So cute!
His ear!
Close up of the ear! Hi buddy! Can you hear me?
So this one is a little hard to see but right by the word "hair" look to the left. That little spiky looking thing is some hair! So cool! I totally thought he was going to come out bald! Evan and I both were bald when we were babies. I am so excited to see what his hair patterns are, his hair color...and I am excited to give him a little baby mohawk!
So there we go! That is the last of the 3D pictures we will have of Mr. Elliott because we no longer have to go to Fargo for our appointments! We will still be getting growth checks and cervical length ultrasounds done here in Grand Forks and I should have some profile pictures or "parts" pictures from that to show later!
Bye everyone!
-The Horton Family
Ultrasound went well. Elliott is growing pretty much right where he should be. His head circumference measured 2 days bigger than where we are at! The only one not meeting standards is his femur bone measurement. Its measuring almost 2 weeks behind. This is another one of those "markers" for Downs. The doctor we saw this appointment stressed to us to not get overwhelmed by it because we will not know 100% unless we do an amniocentesis or see him when he is born. We plan to just see him when he is born. This doctor also saw nothing with the "sandal foot" marker anymore! Hooray! Elliott's echogenic bowel is still seen but it had a lot of variance in shading. Another thing we wont be able to resolve until he is born! He was moving the whole entire ultrasound and was tucked into his normal little position of feet touching the head! What a goofball! Also, Elliott was literally right there, ready to come out. We did another cervical length ultrasound and his head was pushing so hard against my cervix. I didn't want to even move! I was afraid he was going to pop right out! A new discovery from this appointment...they think I might have 2 cervix's now! Yay me. What else can be wrong with me?! They said when the uterus is possibly bicornuate, essentially it almost was as if 2 uteruses fused together...leading to 2 cervix's fusing. He wasn't 100% sure because I am pregnant already and baby is stretching things out but stressed that it is definitely something that we need to follow up on after Elliott is born. Lastly, this doctor told us we most likely will have to have a C-section. I am okay with that I guess...I honestly haven't put much thought into a birth plan because I feel like even if I had one, its most likely going to be thrown out the window. The only thing that makes me sad is I wont be able to hold him the instant he is born...what does make me happy though is that it will be safest for both me and Elliott and Evan will get to hold him first :)
Here are the pictures from today!
This is the only 3D shot we were able to get of his face. He was stubborn and moving way to much to get a clear shot. Though, look closely and what is up by his forehead....his foot!
Another profile shot.
His ear!
Close up of the ear! Hi buddy! Can you hear me?
So this one is a little hard to see but right by the word "hair" look to the left. That little spiky looking thing is some hair! So cool! I totally thought he was going to come out bald! Evan and I both were bald when we were babies. I am so excited to see what his hair patterns are, his hair color...and I am excited to give him a little baby mohawk!
So there we go! That is the last of the 3D pictures we will have of Mr. Elliott because we no longer have to go to Fargo for our appointments! We will still be getting growth checks and cervical length ultrasounds done here in Grand Forks and I should have some profile pictures or "parts" pictures from that to show later!
Bye everyone!
-The Horton Family
Wednesday, July 13, 2011
26 weeks! *LONG ENTRY*
Hey Everyone!
Elliott here! Both Mommy and I are going to be writing this entry, but I figured since I let Mommy write the past couple entries I would grace you all again first.
Well! I have officially hit the 26 week mark! Another huge accomplishment. Information tells me, if you were in the meat department of a grocery store and picked up a 1.5-2lb. chuck roast you would essentially be holding me! I am getting so big and growing more and more every day! My ears have been continuing to develop and are the most sensitive they have ever been. I can most likely hear mommy and daddy when they are talking to each other…Now that mommy and I are spending so much time together I really recognize her voice :) I am continuing to exhale and inhale my amniotic fluid in order to “breathe”. These really nice people in the hospital gave mommy this horrible shot that is actually helping my lungs develop a little quicker. Mommy got stuck in her bum, and it really hurt. Daddy was there to hold her hand and he made her laugh which distracted her from the pain. Mommy was sore for the next 4 days….oops! I am excited to go to the doctor tomorrow to see what I am measuring both in weight and length. I am putting on more and more baby fat each day and Mommy and Daddy have noticed. They got some new ultrasound pictures and boy did I fill out! Also, Mommy really looks pregnant now finally thanks to me growing. Lastly, my boy parts are starting the decent to their final resting place! GO team boy! Talk to you all next week!
Alright, Mommy’s turn.
Hey Everyone…Wow. What a whirlwind of a couple of weeks. I cannot even begin to express my gratitude to those who are supporting us through this time. I think I have said this before in an entry, but you just never hear about the stuff we are going through…It’s like you find out you are pregnant and then you go to your due date…all the stuff in the middle is just the icing on the cake. I wish I could say I’ve had a pleasant pregnancy, but in all reality, my pregnancy has terrified me. I have wanted nothing more in this world than to be a mom. I’ve been blessed to have met and fallen in love with a man that wanted kids just as much as I did. I remember the exact moment I brought our pregnancy test down to show Evan…I was nervous. I would say even more nerves than excitement and I have been waiting for that feeling to go away. Now, I am freakishly excited for Elliott, do not think I am not, but what I am saying is that I feel I haven’t been able to just enjoy this pregnancy as so many other women are able to. We have literally had issues from the beginning with this pregnancy and it really does wear on a person. I wanted to be able to scream from the top of my lungs we were expecting but something in me was holding back. I feel like I almost knew something…I don’t know if in the end I was psyching myself out, but it just didn’t feel right. Now with everything from the placental abruption early on, discovery of the ovarian cysts, possible bicornuate uterus, Elliott’s echogenic bowel and other chromosomal scares…how can that not just rip someone apart? I just want my baby and after our last “routine” doctor appointment, I have come to the realization that even if I still get my baby, the issues might not stop there. Going into the hospital was scary. At first it seemed easy, just receive the beta shot to help develop baby’s lungs quicker and be monitored and then go home, back to normal. When my RN Lindsey ran into the room with 3 bags of IV fluids/meds I instantly went into panic. Of course, I put on a strong face, but inside I was so defeated. What else have I done wrong? When she told me I was having contractions, I honestly had NO idea. I felt and still believe to be feeling nothing. That’s scary not knowing what to feel. The tightening I had been feeling I just assumed was baby moving around in there switching positions. Lindsey warned me about the Magnesium Sulfate they were going to put me on as far as side effects. I am eternally grateful to the side affect gods for only giving me the “flushing” feeling. Though an annoyance, I can handle that vs. puking and being extremely nauseated. At that time, my contractions were 3-4 minutes apart. I hadn’t found that out until about 3 hours into them catching my contractions. After the magnesium kicked in, they slowed to every 7-8 minutes and then slowed to a very inconsistent manner of anywhere between 7-11 minutes if not less than 3 an hour. I felt like I was making progress. After 12 hours of the magnesium I was taken off and monitored for 4 hours. I was still having contractions so I was given an oral medication, Nifedipine, to assist in slowing/stopping my continued contractions. First pill went down just fine, felt great and continued to lie in the hospital bed as normal. My second dose, about 20 minutes to the hour I started feeling really warm and my heart started pounding feverishly. I could feel myself shaking, or almost being slightly pulled side to side. I looked to Evan and asked him if he could see me shaking and he just told me, “Call the nurse”. They took me off the medicine and let me rest again but now I had so much anxiety about it I couldn’t relax. Would there be another medicine I could take to stop me from contracting? There apparently are not many options so when the shift change happened I asked my nurse what the next step would be. She honestly told me, there wasn’t a lot and I just came to the conclusion I was going to need to do this for Elliott. Get me back on that medicine so he does not come right now. They put me back on and again, like clockwork, 20 minutes after the pill I felt the same feeling. Evan held my hand and took breaths with me and I felt much more at ease. Since I have been home, I have experienced the feeling only a couple times. I take the pills at 2 am, 8 am, 2 pm, and 8pm. The morning ones I sleep through usually and the afternoon ones I haven’t felt issues so that is good.
To hear that I was dilated externally to a 1 was frightening too. There was a dilation chart in the hospital I wished I had taken a picture of. It is INSANE that I will eventually get to the 10cm point, but to know that Elliott is so low and I am dilating internally and externally really scared me. He could have come that day for all we know. I gained comfort by watching the TV show “19 kids and counting” on TLC. It’s about the Duggar family, a family of 19 children and their parents. The mother delivered EVERY child. The 19th baby, a girl named Josie, was born via emergency C-section at 25 weeks gestation weighing a mere 1 lb. 6 oz. She is now a thriving 14 month old with only minor growth setbacks, a slight digestive issue and needs oxygen while she sleeps. She is ALIVE. A true miracle. I researched micro-preemies after I rediscovered Josie was born at the same age Elliott was when we were in the hospital and of course I saw both good and bad. Just to think that their little girl is thriving though, with only minimal (or what seems to be minimal) issues is uplifting. To stay positive in this is so much easier said than done.
Our first goal is to get to 28 weeks. That way, if Elliott does come we will be able to keep our care here in Grand Forks. God forbid he wants to come before we hit the 28 week mark…we would have to be airlifted/transported down to Fargo for an unknown amount of time. That is just too much to even think about at this point. From 28 weeks, we will try to hit 32…32 then 34…34 then 36. If we reach 36 weeks, and buddy wants to come, we aren’t going to fight him and let him come. It’s still crazy to think that at 36 weeks; he is still one whole month early! I am praying for a miracle to get him to 36 weeks…that way with every additional day I know that Elliott will not have such severe preemie related problems.
*Hops up onto Soap box* Gosh, what else to say. I can’t help but feel like all of this is my fault. I can’t help but feel like I have done something wrong…or the fact that the things that are wrong are my body and potentially causing harm to my baby. It’s extremely difficult to not put the blame on myself. Have I sat here and just relaxed? I wish I could say I have, but I can’t stop thinking about Elliott. I had an extremely emotional night and morning. I can’t stand the fact I have to be waited on…its torture. I literally am only allowed to get out of the bed to go to the bathroom. I need help going upstairs and only see my upstairs for about 10 minutes a day when I shower. We have put our guest rooms’ full size bed in the corner of our living room. I haven’t been able to sleep in the same bed or even room for that matter as my husband in a week. I feel alone a lot of the time here and I am thankful I have my animals at least. I know I am not alone…Evan has been a serious angel to me during this time. I don’t know how he does it. He is seriously superman. He has cleaned the house, taken care of me, taken care of himself, his job and our animals. He has been forced to do everything. No wonder I cried when he accidently forgot a 12 pack of Mt. Dew in the bottom of the cart at Target when he went grocery shopping. Its one thing he got for himself and now it’s gone. Ugh…The simplest mistake totally devasted me. I felt SO bad for him. He didn’t even care. He initially told me laughing! I wish I had my old mentality to just say “whoops” and brush it off but it hit me so hard. I am pathetic! *Hops off soap box*
My mom was able to fly up for about a day while I got home from the hospital and is actually flying back in tonight to drive us down to Fargo for our 2nd ultrasound with them. I am relieved she will be here because I cannot drive and Evan has some pretty rough mornings when it comes to letting his stomach settle. Plus the stress is never fun to deal with. My mom is very much so a morning person so the fact our appointment is at 7am doesn’t even faze her. My dad will be coming back up this weekend to hang out as well. I am so excited to have them both here not only for company…but for my dog Jack as well. Jack LOVES my mom and dad and my dad has wanted a dog for awhile. I think having the dog and my parents here together is helping us all…Jack gets the attention he has needed that I cannot provide and my dad gets a small dog fix. Last visit, he fell in love with a little pup at the pet store and we almost had another little puppy in the house! Sadly, the dog was freakishly expensive and he had to pass but then Jack was here to cheer him up. I can’t wait to have them all here…
This is another reason I hate being so far from home. I realize my parents have this freak of nature ability to fly for extremely minimal cost but it’s still hard. It’s not easy to drive 5 hours home for us financially, or time wise, and we understand it’s the same for family and friends. It’s just really difficult feeling so separated. I wish Evan could see his family, I wish I could see my Grandma and we both wish we could see our friends… Evan is being so strong through all of this and I know he wishes he had his mom at this time. It just breaks my heart that his mom isn’t here. I know how much she wanted to see her grandkids and I just know that she would be able to calm Evan down in a way only a mother can. Evan is doing okay with all of this right now. We both broke down when we had to go to the hospital but I think it hit him that this pregnancy isn’t as easy as we thought it would be. He is so excited to meet Elliott…It is so awesome having Evan be able to see and feel Elliott kicking and moving. It’s something I can share with Evan and I absolutely adore the time when it’s just us three together. I cannot wait for tomorrow so we can see our little man 3 D again.
Well, as I said earlier, my mom, Evan and I will be on the road to Fargo tomorrow for another ultrasound and cervical check. I pray that Elliott’s echogenic bowel is just gone. At this point I will take anything going our way! As long as buddy doesn’t all of a sudden want out when we are there, I will be happy. I will keep everyone updated as soon as I can. It’s been hard writing this entry anyway. I have wanted to journal my thoughts and am actually writing in Microsoft word right now to keep track. I am on full page 4 right now. Whenever I get overwhelmed with what I am writing I put the computer down, relax for awhile and get back into it when I feel ready.
I don’t want to apologize for the things I have said in this entry. It is how I feel. I realize some things may come off selfish or disheartening but that’s the reality of what is going on. If you don’t agree, that’s fine…I am going to keep on keeping on with what I do and how I feel, no matter what it is. This has not been easy at all, and it terrifies me to ever become pregnant again but I can’t even think about that at this point…It is just in the back of my mind. I am doing okay right now…I enjoy the time I am “alone” because I know that truthfully I am not. My little boy is with me…what is beautiful is that when I do feel alone all of a sudden I feel him move or kick and it reminds me that I am not alone and I am doing this for him. He already knows how to cheer me up.
Elliott is actually kicking me extremely hard right now; it’s making me almost lose my breath. What is exciting about this? He is kicking me HIGH, not low…which is where he wants to be so bad all the time. I’ll take not breathing well as long as this nugget stays in here.
Thanks for reading everyone…Update to come soon, if not for sure on Sunday. My mom will be here Thursday-Sunday and my dad is coming Friday night through Sunday. I am very excited to have them here and Evan is too. He likes when I have company so he can be getting our other life needs taken care of.
Love you all,
Rachel, Evan, and Elliott
Here is another ultrasound picture. The 2 white circles by his head are one hand and you guessed it...one foot!
Me in the hospital
Evan lounging in the hospital on the "daddy" bed. Not so comfy...
Thursday, July 7, 2011
Hospital Fun!
Why Hello there!
I know I had joked about updating midweek strictly out of boredom of being put on bed rest, but little did I expect what has happened. I went in to my next cervical length ultrasound and doctor appointment and we have found out that internally(from Elliott's view) I am dilated at 2.5ish still. Here is the new news...I am externally dilated at 1. NOT GOOD news! Doc. Trottier decided to admit me to Altru, our hospital here in Grand Forks, to be monitored. I also got a shot (beta-metha-something something something) that is a steroid to kick start lung development in Elliott. I initially got that at around noon today, I have a second dose at noon tomorrow. I was suppose to only be in here until hours after the second shot, just continuing bed rest at home...but then I started contracting. NOT GOOD news! I had NO idea...I can't feel them at all. My nurse Lindsey came in with IV bags and stuff and I was like, UH?!?!, and she goes...you're contracting! My heart dropped...Thank God Evan was here at the same time so the initial shock wasn't as scary as if I was alone. I stayed strong until the nurse left and then of course I lost it. This isn't suppose to be happening! I never really heard about all this stuff. You just kinda assume you get pregnant and you get to your due date...Not once did I anticipate these challenges but then again, no one does. I took the medicine through the IV "like a champ". It is magnesium sulfate which can make people really woosy and sick, very flush and overwhelmed with heat and dizzy...I am thankful because I only experienced the flush feeling. Also, I am quite proud to report that I have awesome veins to have needles stuck in hahahaha! So good in fact that I squirted blood all over...go me! Is that something I should be proud of? Ahhh, who cares...Anyways, back to the action...
So the contractions are about 3-4 minutes apart. They are more "irritable" then labor contractions. They are not even strong enough for me to feel. I had been experiencing a tightening sensation for the past couple of weeks but didn't know if it was a contraction, him moving or both. Turns out right now its not a contraction which is good, and the fact I don't feel the contractions is also good news. So, the earliest I could get off of the meds through the IV would be around 8am tomorrow. I don't think anyone anticipates me getting off of it soon. I have been told to anticipate being here an extra 1-2 days now too. AH! I so did not think I would be in the hospital today after our appointment! So scary, but I am trying to relax. So much easier said than done.
Please everyone pray for us. Pray that my contractions stop. Pray that I stop dilating internally and externally. Pray for Elliott. Pray for Evan. Pray for me. Pray that if God has determined that this is when Elliott needs to be welcomed to the world that his health will be managed and that he will do okay. Please Please Please...Pray.
Love to you all,
Rachel, Evan and Elliott
-I'll do my best to keep this updated...at the time I am pretty much doing a ton of sitting and lounging around. I feel silly updating this and being on facebook but I literally can only stand so much TV. If there is more action we will go from there!
I know I had joked about updating midweek strictly out of boredom of being put on bed rest, but little did I expect what has happened. I went in to my next cervical length ultrasound and doctor appointment and we have found out that internally(from Elliott's view) I am dilated at 2.5ish still. Here is the new news...I am externally dilated at 1. NOT GOOD news! Doc. Trottier decided to admit me to Altru, our hospital here in Grand Forks, to be monitored. I also got a shot (beta-metha-something something something) that is a steroid to kick start lung development in Elliott. I initially got that at around noon today, I have a second dose at noon tomorrow. I was suppose to only be in here until hours after the second shot, just continuing bed rest at home...but then I started contracting. NOT GOOD news! I had NO idea...I can't feel them at all. My nurse Lindsey came in with IV bags and stuff and I was like, UH?!?!, and she goes...you're contracting! My heart dropped...Thank God Evan was here at the same time so the initial shock wasn't as scary as if I was alone. I stayed strong until the nurse left and then of course I lost it. This isn't suppose to be happening! I never really heard about all this stuff. You just kinda assume you get pregnant and you get to your due date...Not once did I anticipate these challenges but then again, no one does. I took the medicine through the IV "like a champ". It is magnesium sulfate which can make people really woosy and sick, very flush and overwhelmed with heat and dizzy...I am thankful because I only experienced the flush feeling. Also, I am quite proud to report that I have awesome veins to have needles stuck in hahahaha! So good in fact that I squirted blood all over...go me! Is that something I should be proud of? Ahhh, who cares...Anyways, back to the action...
So the contractions are about 3-4 minutes apart. They are more "irritable" then labor contractions. They are not even strong enough for me to feel. I had been experiencing a tightening sensation for the past couple of weeks but didn't know if it was a contraction, him moving or both. Turns out right now its not a contraction which is good, and the fact I don't feel the contractions is also good news. So, the earliest I could get off of the meds through the IV would be around 8am tomorrow. I don't think anyone anticipates me getting off of it soon. I have been told to anticipate being here an extra 1-2 days now too. AH! I so did not think I would be in the hospital today after our appointment! So scary, but I am trying to relax. So much easier said than done.
Please everyone pray for us. Pray that my contractions stop. Pray that I stop dilating internally and externally. Pray for Elliott. Pray for Evan. Pray for me. Pray that if God has determined that this is when Elliott needs to be welcomed to the world that his health will be managed and that he will do okay. Please Please Please...Pray.
Love to you all,
Rachel, Evan and Elliott
-I'll do my best to keep this updated...at the time I am pretty much doing a ton of sitting and lounging around. I feel silly updating this and being on facebook but I literally can only stand so much TV. If there is more action we will go from there!
Sunday, July 3, 2011
25 weeks! :)
Smiles all around! We have reached 25 weeks! Another notch on the belt of Elliott's pregnancy!
Elliott should approx. be weighing right around 1.5 lbs! Big boy! We have officially graduated onto being the size of an eggplant! I am feeling him much stronger now and I'll take it. Pack on those pounds kiddo! Elliott could be anywhere from 12 inches-14 inches long this week! They say that at this point of his development, all of the systems are there...this time is a rapid weight gain and growth for both baby and mom. His nostrils have opened and now that his lungs started producing surfactant, he can now officially practice breathing! At this point too, babies tend to start moving into position, meaning head down to the pelvis. Not all the time is this the case, but it starts. I feel Elliott all over, mostly low, but I think he is just a wiggle worm that likes to dance around in there. One website I get my information from also told me to have my spouse put his ear up to my belly. The potential is there for Evan to actually catch Elliott's heartbeat! How AMAZING is that?! I was shocked. We haven't tried it yet, but by next week I will have a report for you!
I have to constantly remind myself now to smile...It has been a very difficult past 5-ish days as I was put on modified bed rest at 24+2 days. I went in for a cervical length ultrasound again with our tech Jeremy, here in Grand Forks. They couldn't fit me in day of to go back to see the doc. so I had to wait until the following morning. When I arrived at the office, I did the same old routine of giving my sample and waiting, being called back and getting weighed and then I waited for the doc to arrive. He walks in, "Hey Kiddo...How you feeling?" Tears started to well up in my eyes, but I kept my composure enough to get through...I was nervous. I felt like I was going to get bad news but I still had a glimmer of hope I wouldn't be put on bed rest. He read me my results. I went from a 2.54 measurement from Fargo to a 2.78. Doc felt it was necessary to do a cervical exam himself and I was glad he did. "Holy Cow! That baby is low! No wonder you don't look 6 months pregnant!" Those are the exact words that came out of his mouth. I knew then, I would be on bed rest and not long after he goes..."You do what for a living?" "I do hair at Avant, downtown...your wife was suppose to see me in like 2 weeks!" "I don't think that's going to happen now! You need to take it easy..." "Take it easy as in..." "You can't work, there is no way I am going to let you work 8-9 hour days, on your feet, having that baby push down any further. Is that okay?"
Is that okay? I thought to myself...well, really? Do I have a choice? Would I risk the life of my unborn child? How will Evan and I survive? Can we really do that? I responded back to the doctor, "I'll do anything to make sure he is okay. He is my top priority" ...I am not allowed to work however I can make myself lunch, use the bathroom, run to the store but only in and out...sit at a restaurant and eat is okay, but mostly have to be sitting and laying down. It has been hard. For most of you, you know that I cannot sit still. Even when I am working, when I have a color client that is processing, I am constantly still doing something...eating, checking on/talking to client, cleaning...To have to sit/lay for the majority of the day is difficult. But then I think of why I am doing this. I am doing this for Elliott. He is my top priority. Elliott will benefit from this. This is for him. I think I might have to write that down on post it notes and put them up every 5 ft. in my house. Just to have the little constant reminder, not that feeling him moving isn't enough of one...Just when I start feeling down I have something to look at too. I have been feeling “small” for being pregnant. Some days, I don’t feel like I look it at all. I have only gained about 7 lbs. Seems low, but it is okay because of my Gastric surgery. Baby is nutritionally getting everything he needs, but it scares me the fact that now I know why I don’t look too pregnant. Baby is not growing up and out, he is growing moreso within me and pushing down.
I am very thankful that my parents are lucky enough to have flight benefits through Delta. After I got the initial call that I needed to go on bed rest, my mom was here 4 hours later. I called her at 10:30 a.m. and she landed at 2:30 p.m. Amazing! My Dad had to work and came to town a couple days later and I have been so lucky to have them here. My mom wouldn't let me do a thing when she got into town. "Sit down!" she'd say. That's when this whole bed rest thing really kinda hit me. Hours in. I cannot even unload the dishwasher, do a load of laundry...pick up my cats. Doing nothing seems so ideal at the end of a day but for me right now, its hell. My dad made us breakfast Friday morning and it was so nice. Of course we hit up Paradiso for my mom (my mom loves this place...Mexican place that has amazing cheese enchiladas!) then had China Garden for my dad. We grilled and ate in the rest of our time. It has just been nice having them here right after the initial shock of not being able to do stuff. When they leave, it will be another story. I am thankful though that I have friends, clients, coworkers all offering to come visit...It's so sweet. It brings tears to my eyes. Sometimes I feel so alone in Grand Forks but then this support comes and it reminds me of why I don't really mind it here.
My mom and I were thinking of things I could do to busy myself throughout this time. I still have 15 weeks to go until Elliott is suppose to come. We now are putting ourselves on financial lock down because I have absolutely no income coming in so it is hard because what doesn't cost money these days. Of course there are books I have, movies and TV I can watch...but there is something about working with my hands. When you do it for 8-9 hours a day and are creatively thinking about balance, proportion in a haircut, color...My mind and hands were exercised. We decided to grab some felt for the owl mobile that I posted in my last entry. That will keep me busy hopefully for a week. I haven't decided exactly how I want the owls to be shaped but that's part of what I get to decide after my parents leave. We also got wooden letters I am going to paint that of course spell out "Elliott". Lastly, we got the start of a project I am not sure I know what the outcome even will be. In my last entry I talked about how I wanted more of a neutral nursery with owl accents. Something not too cartoon but something he can grow with or things we can easily change. I picked up 3 small birdhouses I plan to paint. What will they end up doing in the room...I am not sure...but they are really cute and I am excited to get that started! What's best about this all, is that it cost me nearly nothing...I didn't feel too guilty.
I am going to hopefully start with some "work from home" with the salon actually. I am really excited about it. My boss's niece is going to be working at our salon, and I have been asked to work with her on "Aveda". "Aveda" has such a way of working things with customer service, techniques through services, all of it and I am excited I get to teach her the in's and outs. I love Aveda and I believe in it and I am glad they asked me to do it. It also is one more thing to keep me busy! Tara, who I will be training, will most likely be coming over to my house and I will work with her from my couch! It will be perfect. I am honestly, so excited about it I can't stand it!
Evan and I are both doing okay. Needless to say, its overwhelming. I feel like this post is all over the place but that is how my mind is working. Evan did finish the trim work we had started. It looks fantastic. It's amazing how polished a wall can look with that there. I have gotten so use to seeing it without it, its a nice refresher to see it new! It is like a whole new room. We are going to "put the house back together" now and get all of the chores done, and by "we" I mean Evan. Bless his heart. He is taking amazing care of me. I couldn't have asked for a better person to share my life with. This phase of our pregnancy has been difficult on him. He is use to being in control and the fact that we seem to be in constant limbo is unsettling. He will be very busy the next few days not only with work but with figuring out all of our finances for the next how many ever months. We are really going to have to figure things out...I think I take a bi-monthly paycheck for granted now that it's gone. You really don't realize how scary it is to not have any means to live on...It is a really odd feeling. Evan will have everything in order here soon and I am sure my stresses will disappear. He rocks. He seriously is the calmest and most level headed person I think I know.
Well, I think I will wrap things up here. I don't have to much more to say...I have another appt. on Thursday this week and we will see what happens from there. It is another cervical length ultrasound with doc. appointment after. I hope that I can be told you may go back to work, but I think that it may just be wishful thinking. Oh well, a girl can dream right? The following week, we are heading back to Fargo for another full ultrasound on the little man. We will see where is Echogenic bowel has progressed and it will be nice seeing how he has grown! I will probably frequent the blog more than just my Sunday updates, as I will have increasingly more time on my hands ;) Feel free to visit me!!!! Hahaha!!
Happy 4th of July everyone! Talk to you all next week-or sooner.
Love,
The Hortons- Rachel, Evan and Elliott
Elliott should approx. be weighing right around 1.5 lbs! Big boy! We have officially graduated onto being the size of an eggplant! I am feeling him much stronger now and I'll take it. Pack on those pounds kiddo! Elliott could be anywhere from 12 inches-14 inches long this week! They say that at this point of his development, all of the systems are there...this time is a rapid weight gain and growth for both baby and mom. His nostrils have opened and now that his lungs started producing surfactant, he can now officially practice breathing! At this point too, babies tend to start moving into position, meaning head down to the pelvis. Not all the time is this the case, but it starts. I feel Elliott all over, mostly low, but I think he is just a wiggle worm that likes to dance around in there. One website I get my information from also told me to have my spouse put his ear up to my belly. The potential is there for Evan to actually catch Elliott's heartbeat! How AMAZING is that?! I was shocked. We haven't tried it yet, but by next week I will have a report for you!
I have to constantly remind myself now to smile...It has been a very difficult past 5-ish days as I was put on modified bed rest at 24+2 days. I went in for a cervical length ultrasound again with our tech Jeremy, here in Grand Forks. They couldn't fit me in day of to go back to see the doc. so I had to wait until the following morning. When I arrived at the office, I did the same old routine of giving my sample and waiting, being called back and getting weighed and then I waited for the doc to arrive. He walks in, "Hey Kiddo...How you feeling?" Tears started to well up in my eyes, but I kept my composure enough to get through...I was nervous. I felt like I was going to get bad news but I still had a glimmer of hope I wouldn't be put on bed rest. He read me my results. I went from a 2.54 measurement from Fargo to a 2.78. Doc felt it was necessary to do a cervical exam himself and I was glad he did. "Holy Cow! That baby is low! No wonder you don't look 6 months pregnant!" Those are the exact words that came out of his mouth. I knew then, I would be on bed rest and not long after he goes..."You do what for a living?" "I do hair at Avant, downtown...your wife was suppose to see me in like 2 weeks!" "I don't think that's going to happen now! You need to take it easy..." "Take it easy as in..." "You can't work, there is no way I am going to let you work 8-9 hour days, on your feet, having that baby push down any further. Is that okay?"
Is that okay? I thought to myself...well, really? Do I have a choice? Would I risk the life of my unborn child? How will Evan and I survive? Can we really do that? I responded back to the doctor, "I'll do anything to make sure he is okay. He is my top priority" ...I am not allowed to work however I can make myself lunch, use the bathroom, run to the store but only in and out...sit at a restaurant and eat is okay, but mostly have to be sitting and laying down. It has been hard. For most of you, you know that I cannot sit still. Even when I am working, when I have a color client that is processing, I am constantly still doing something...eating, checking on/talking to client, cleaning...To have to sit/lay for the majority of the day is difficult. But then I think of why I am doing this. I am doing this for Elliott. He is my top priority. Elliott will benefit from this. This is for him. I think I might have to write that down on post it notes and put them up every 5 ft. in my house. Just to have the little constant reminder, not that feeling him moving isn't enough of one...Just when I start feeling down I have something to look at too. I have been feeling “small” for being pregnant. Some days, I don’t feel like I look it at all. I have only gained about 7 lbs. Seems low, but it is okay because of my Gastric surgery. Baby is nutritionally getting everything he needs, but it scares me the fact that now I know why I don’t look too pregnant. Baby is not growing up and out, he is growing moreso within me and pushing down.
I am very thankful that my parents are lucky enough to have flight benefits through Delta. After I got the initial call that I needed to go on bed rest, my mom was here 4 hours later. I called her at 10:30 a.m. and she landed at 2:30 p.m. Amazing! My Dad had to work and came to town a couple days later and I have been so lucky to have them here. My mom wouldn't let me do a thing when she got into town. "Sit down!" she'd say. That's when this whole bed rest thing really kinda hit me. Hours in. I cannot even unload the dishwasher, do a load of laundry...pick up my cats. Doing nothing seems so ideal at the end of a day but for me right now, its hell. My dad made us breakfast Friday morning and it was so nice. Of course we hit up Paradiso for my mom (my mom loves this place...Mexican place that has amazing cheese enchiladas!) then had China Garden for my dad. We grilled and ate in the rest of our time. It has just been nice having them here right after the initial shock of not being able to do stuff. When they leave, it will be another story. I am thankful though that I have friends, clients, coworkers all offering to come visit...It's so sweet. It brings tears to my eyes. Sometimes I feel so alone in Grand Forks but then this support comes and it reminds me of why I don't really mind it here.
My mom and I were thinking of things I could do to busy myself throughout this time. I still have 15 weeks to go until Elliott is suppose to come. We now are putting ourselves on financial lock down because I have absolutely no income coming in so it is hard because what doesn't cost money these days. Of course there are books I have, movies and TV I can watch...but there is something about working with my hands. When you do it for 8-9 hours a day and are creatively thinking about balance, proportion in a haircut, color...My mind and hands were exercised. We decided to grab some felt for the owl mobile that I posted in my last entry. That will keep me busy hopefully for a week. I haven't decided exactly how I want the owls to be shaped but that's part of what I get to decide after my parents leave. We also got wooden letters I am going to paint that of course spell out "Elliott". Lastly, we got the start of a project I am not sure I know what the outcome even will be. In my last entry I talked about how I wanted more of a neutral nursery with owl accents. Something not too cartoon but something he can grow with or things we can easily change. I picked up 3 small birdhouses I plan to paint. What will they end up doing in the room...I am not sure...but they are really cute and I am excited to get that started! What's best about this all, is that it cost me nearly nothing...I didn't feel too guilty.
I am going to hopefully start with some "work from home" with the salon actually. I am really excited about it. My boss's niece is going to be working at our salon, and I have been asked to work with her on "Aveda". "Aveda" has such a way of working things with customer service, techniques through services, all of it and I am excited I get to teach her the in's and outs. I love Aveda and I believe in it and I am glad they asked me to do it. It also is one more thing to keep me busy! Tara, who I will be training, will most likely be coming over to my house and I will work with her from my couch! It will be perfect. I am honestly, so excited about it I can't stand it!
Evan and I are both doing okay. Needless to say, its overwhelming. I feel like this post is all over the place but that is how my mind is working. Evan did finish the trim work we had started. It looks fantastic. It's amazing how polished a wall can look with that there. I have gotten so use to seeing it without it, its a nice refresher to see it new! It is like a whole new room. We are going to "put the house back together" now and get all of the chores done, and by "we" I mean Evan. Bless his heart. He is taking amazing care of me. I couldn't have asked for a better person to share my life with. This phase of our pregnancy has been difficult on him. He is use to being in control and the fact that we seem to be in constant limbo is unsettling. He will be very busy the next few days not only with work but with figuring out all of our finances for the next how many ever months. We are really going to have to figure things out...I think I take a bi-monthly paycheck for granted now that it's gone. You really don't realize how scary it is to not have any means to live on...It is a really odd feeling. Evan will have everything in order here soon and I am sure my stresses will disappear. He rocks. He seriously is the calmest and most level headed person I think I know.
Well, I think I will wrap things up here. I don't have to much more to say...I have another appt. on Thursday this week and we will see what happens from there. It is another cervical length ultrasound with doc. appointment after. I hope that I can be told you may go back to work, but I think that it may just be wishful thinking. Oh well, a girl can dream right? The following week, we are heading back to Fargo for another full ultrasound on the little man. We will see where is Echogenic bowel has progressed and it will be nice seeing how he has grown! I will probably frequent the blog more than just my Sunday updates, as I will have increasingly more time on my hands ;) Feel free to visit me!!!! Hahaha!!
Happy 4th of July everyone! Talk to you all next week-or sooner.
Love,
The Hortons- Rachel, Evan and Elliott
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)